“There is a beautiful thing that happens when you begin to believe in yourself. When you take the chances and opportunities presented to you, when you push yourself so far our of your comfort zone that you barely recognize the scenery around you, and when you accomplish the goals you never thought you could accomplish. Even the smallest sliver of hope in yourself will propel you forward into the most unexpected adventure. It’s just a matter of whispering to yourself “I can do this” even when you think you can’t, its trusting that somehow, someway, you will figure out how to accomplish the unimaginable.”
I wrote this about six months ago. I often have thoughts like this flutter through my mind and I write them down on the sticky notes on my computer. I have read this just about every day since I wrote it. But it only recently that this is ringing true in my life. I wrote back in June about how I do not believe in myself. That realization really rocked me and made me reevaluate how I could change this. Over the past two months I have been able to figure out where the road block has been that has made me not believe that I am a runner or capable of doing challenging things.
After finding the few things that have been holding me back, I started working on addressing the issues head on. Part of this process included lying to myself about my ability to do things. You see, I have this problem where I will tell others I can do something but in my head I am double guessing everything. I realized at the end of June when I started breaking my running records by significant times that if I started to tell myself that I can do these things, it would eventually stick and be a part of my DNA.
Let me tell you how much this has worked. Over the last two months I have broken a few more running times and achieved goals in my running that I never thought I would be able to do. I took my half marathon time down to 2:26:00, when I was just excited to complete on in 2:30:06 in June. I started to maintain my 400m splits within three seconds of each round during my track workouts. I have realized quickly that I am headed toward a faster average mile time, more so in the 8-9 minute mile range. And I was able to run an entire 10k without walking this past weekend, as well as break 1:05 in my time.
These accomplishments have only come through trusting and believing in myself and the hard work that I have put in for well over a year. It has taken so much time and sorting through my mental space to reach this place in my life. To know that I am worthy of the life I want to live and capable of doing challenging things, like running six miles without stopping. I have rounded the corner from just pushing through the self doubt and trying to trust in what I am doing to fully believing in what I can do and accepting that I really am a runner and have been one for a long time.
You can clearly see this when you look at me. I am expelling this energy that is telling everyone that I believe in myself and what I am doing. I can see it in the photos that are taken of me and others are sharing with me what they are seeing. It is an amazing thing to hear and see, to be able to know that not only do I believe in myself in my mind, but that it is overflowing out of my life. I am really excited for what is up ahead on this journey, especially as I charge forward in the training for Chicago. I know good things are coming, just as they have been happening.
Through out all of this, I want you to know that you are not alone in your own journey of believing in yourself. We are all filled with self doubt on the various things we do. But if we blindly trust in our ability to do the hard things, we will overcome our self doubt and truly begin believing in ourselves. You are not alone. I am right here with you on this crazy journey.
Until next time
-Be Fearless, Go Boldly