At times I feel lost. Motivation is gone. Frustration takes over. All I focus on is the downfalls of this process.
It’s been one of those weeks where each day I get a little bit more frustrated. I didn’t reach 1 mile at tempo speed on Monday because I felt like I was going to throw up. I didn’t give it my best effort in run strong because I didn’t want to feel sick again like I did hours earlier. I almost didn’t do cross training on Tuesday because I was exhausted and pressed for time. Thank goodness for NP and the encouraging people there or else I wouldn’t have made it the last mile without walking back to the park. I almost called snow day on Fridays NP workout. PT was frustrating because it seems no matter what we do, I’m always back to where I started. And Saturday’s long run was painful, both mentally and physically.
I don’t share this for sympathy. I share it to show how real this struggle is and how some weeks just suck. My frustration is so high that I debated the point of any of this yesterday. Why do I run? Why do I push myself? Why do I want to go faster? Why do I want to get stronger? But I came up empty handed for answers. A search in the darkness that left me empty handed.
Then I started getting messages from you. The ones who are reading this and struggling as well. You, who needs motivation to keep going and sees encouragement through my simple words. And I remember that I do this for a purpose bigger than myself.
Frustration is going to happen. It’s going to knock me down, beat me up, and leave me for dead. But when I choose to get back up and keep fighting, dispit the lack motivation to keep going, I find a strength stronger than myself that carries me through.
The tough days are going to come. I can garuntee it. You just have to find the tiny glimpse of light in the darkness that whispers “Keep going. I’ve got you. It will be worth it. Trust me.”
-Be Fearless, Go Boldly