You vs You

“You have to remember how far you have come. You did not get here overnight. This is days, weeks, months, and years of work. Each day is another step forward to where you want to go and another step away from who you once were”

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This is what filters through my mind with each workout I do. Every run, stair climb, NP workout, and fitness class. I am constantly trying to remind myself that I am not who I was a few years ago. I am working toward a stronger version of myself each and every day.

But I also have those days where all I can think about is how I am not as strong as I would like to be. I still cannot run up the entire length of the Howl Street Stairs (honestly, I might never be able to do this…), I still struggle to find my balance on some exercises, I still find myself taking walking breaks during my runs when I know I can keep going.  These are the tough days, the ones where all I do is question why I am not doing as well as I think I should be doing.

And this is where reality hits me. When I realize that though I am not as strong as I want to be, I am stronger than I used to be.  I used to not do all that I do now.  I would never have thought I’d be running stairs at 6:15am on a Tuesday six months ago.  I didn’t think I would ever complete a half marathon a year ago, even though it was my “lofty dream”.  I didn’t think I would be able to run a mile in 10 minutes and 37 seconds.  I stared at my PT in disbelief a few months ago when he told me I’d be running between 9-10 minute miles by January, yet now I believe it fully.

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I think the hardest reality check has been my mental game.  I am realizing that you are the only one who can decide what you are going to do.  And this is the thing I need to keep in mind.  I get to pick each action I do, no one else. It’s the battle of what I can actually do versus what my mind tells me I can or cannot do.  It is a constant battle, one I am facing each and every day. But each day gets a bit easier as I start to accept what I can do compared to what my mind keeps thinking I can’t do.

For now, I am going to keep picking the things that are going to push me forward. The ones that keep me encouraged, motivated, and filled with joy. I am going to keep reminding myself that I am capable of hard things. It might not be easy some days, but I know in the long run it will be worth it.

Until next time

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